Pride & Prejudice Decor (Before Accident).

When I was in the tenth grade, I fell in love with Pride and Prejudice.  I had held off reading it knowing what the curriculum would be.  My mom is a school teacher and she always had the inside track. 

I was given 100% on my report, poster and oral presentation.  I can still remember Stephen B. turning around to me and saying, "How the (*insert your preferred choice of expletive here*) do you know all this stuff?"

And here they are, the Bennet sisters.  I must admit, that when I went in for my ultrasound to find out the gender of my fifth child, I knew I could do Little Women.  But I wasn't sure about raising up a Pride and Prejudice scenario.  And that fifth child turned out to be a boy.

Here's part of my room in high school.  I was packing for Utah and Israel when my mother came in and took this random picture saying, "Just in case you die honey."  I know this sounds totally morbid but we talked about death in our house on a regular enough basis.  As my mother often had to travel somewhere and we had a "Death List" to adhere too.  In many ways, at the time of this picture, it had become a running joke.   My mother always had one warranted agreement.  That no matter how nice the "Sisters" are, when they show up hearing about her death in Europe, we were not to let them in.  Unless the house was totally clean and all underwear had been bleached too pristine condition.  And then my mother would warn, "Otherwise I'll haunt you the rest of my dead life.  Even on your honeymoon night."  I have a better picture of my room but it's in negatives right now and I really don't wanna have to fiddle with that.

I need to pick up the book again, just on account of this picture.

When we were first married I came home from work one day and found that my mother and husband had painted and wallpapered some old leftover furniture for me.  Note the toile they had put on too.  My mom knew it would go great with all of my "green and pink."  The above mirror was found at a garage sale for $4.  I've thought about bringing it back but I can only look at it and think one thing right now: Doernbecher's (Childrens Hospital)Trip.  On the slight chance the mirror could fall off the wall and onto my children.

My mother did not actually start decorating with any of her really beautiful antiques until she had moved back down to Oregon.  I can still remember my grandpa buying this piece for her at the Salem Fred Meyer I think when I was in the 3rd grade.  It could easily be transported across the border and get dinged up.  Taken.

I procrastinated getting the dowel cut for the longest time.  Here the place is decked out for Christmas.  I worked at Michael's when I got out of high school and the manager let me bring home any leftover floral.  The result was major glue gun time.  The tapestry was my grandmothers.  I can still remember hauling home that cabinet in the 4th grade.  I was holding onto it so that it wouldn't slide around in the back of the station wagon.  At the time I was hearing the news of Tienanmen Square being broadcast over the radio.

I had sold these couches off before the accident.  But just wanted to give you a more concrete picture of everything.


My mom had told me that before the accident we would look at doing a few things.  I was nervous about color because I didn't want my house to be like my mom's.  You can see I was just trying a few things here and there.  I believe this is about two days beforehand.  I can tell because of Claire's hair.  Anne-Louise had cut it 7 days before.

I had eventually painted all of the furniture grey with a braille wallpaper painted green.  There was a fleur de lis pattern on it too.  Loved it.

The above picture was from my grandfather's old caretaker Cindy.  She was always buying miscellaneous things.  I had inserted some old Bible pictures in there i lieu of dated tea cup pictures.

This was one of the things that I had expressed to my mother that  I had hated.  If the toys were out everything was an instant mess.  I had tried to disguise them with pretty containers but I also felt like I was isolating the most important parts of my life, my children.

The chairs before the accident were supposed to be recovered in different fabrics then they are now.  But after the accident everything just blew wide open.  Fabrics were switched around and I had to do the best with what I had.

Again, my kids wanted to be around me.

Although I will always love my Pride and Prejudice, green and pink days.  I now realize that the biggest part of me, my living room, was not acknowledging who I am now.  I was shutting all of that out as though it was some sort of painful secret, to be put away in a box.  Because the toys might not look peaceful or irreverent.  I had actually started to use one of the bedrooms as a playroom before the accident.  And that's why Anne-Louise was upstairs at the time and she went out the window.  And if a mother's work is really that important, why should I hide it or try to disguise it?  After all, this is the work that I do within the walls of my home.   And why shouldn't my home reflect that?

Maybe one day Mr.Darcy and I will fall back in love.  But for now, that relationship can stay on the book shelf.  Where it belongs.  P.S.  I don't have a "before" picture of my house before the accident because everything had been hauled out while I was at the hospital.  Things were just complete and utter chaos.

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